Did you lose your self-identity after becoming a mother?
I know I did.
I was so focused on being a perfect mom and a perfect wife and a perfect everything for everyone that in the process, I lost sight of who I was. Not to say that I knew my purpose before motherhood, but I was a little selfish and felt more in tune with my desires.
It’s sort of bittersweet this motherhood thing. I mean, becoming a mom to my sweet boy has been the greatest blessing and has made me mature and become very selfless and responsible, but after a year of joy, struggles, and so many new experiences, I felt so alone, unstable, and purposeless. So I turned to blogs, articles, podcasts, and all things self-help to find what I was missing. It’s been a slow process and I am not completely healed, but I feel that I am finally on the right path to myself.
Oh man, I did not think I would be trying to find my purpose after having a child. You know? Isn’t my life supposed to be figured out already? Well, it’s not and I can admit that without shame and in complete honesty. Discovering who you are and what you are meant to do is a lifelong journey and becoming a mother has only pushed me towards finally realizing that. So let’s talk about the ideas and methods that I have found helpful in this process.
Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
First and foremost we have the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). In short, the MBTI is a personality type test that indicates how people perceive the world and how they make decisions. I’ve known my personality type of years. Ever since I took this questionnaire and got my results, I’ve learned a lot about myself, but when I was trying to understand the way I react to situations as a mother, I decided to go back and do more research on my personality type. This has been a game changer. I am an INFJ and I can testify to the difference that knowing my IMBT personality has brought to my life and sense of self. That is why I am mentioning this first because if you only try one of these ideas out, let it be this!
I was introduced to Ayurveda while pregnant and have been very intrigued by it since then. I have not been able to really dive in as I would like, but the times I have implemented some of the Ayurvedic practices in my life, I have noticed a difference. That is why I am recommending this to all Mamas. I believe that finding your Dosha is a very import step in the path of self-acceptance. I am Kapha Dosha and now I understand why my body is shaped the way it is and why I am always congested and why I enjoy very hot showers, among other things. Ayurvedic healing is ancient but effective.
I’ve mentioned journaling, in the form of morning pages, on the blog before and I still believe that it’s one of the best ways to self-reflect. Brain dumping all of your fears, thoughts, plans, and goals is a great way to get to know yourself and figure out what it is that you really want out of life. Because, unlike so many people have told me, there IS life after motherhood. Find a time that works for you and start writing freely. No one will judge you so be as honest as possible and learn from what you write.
These three things are what I have been leaning on in the past couple of weeks and I am very excited for what the rest of this journey has in store for me. There are also a lot of other ideas and methods of self-discovery I want to try. I will keep writing and sharing my journey with you Mamas because I really enjoy introducing women to the things that have helped me become a better me. Even after motherhood.